Questions and Answers with Sesa das

A. Why do you think couples have children?

 

I suppose there are many reasons, and often no reason, i.e. conception without forethought. The most important reason for me was to increase a feeling of family enjoyment. I like children, always have, and felt that marriage offered me the opportunity to have a family of my own. Children I could raise to be good people and with whom I could intimately interact.

 

To a lesser degree, thought of the influence my children could have in their community or the world if I did a good job raising them, was a motivating factor.

 

I guess these feelings comes down to a sense of accomplishment or completion in my life.

 

B. Do you think all couples should have children?  Why or why not?

 

Following on my previous answer, I think it depends on what the couple is trying to accomplish in their lives. However, I object to a financial analysis approach to the question of having children. If you can offer the love and guidance required to raise children, then why not, financial considerations should not matter. One may have enough money but no time or proper sense of what children need.

 

I would like to mention that since most or many children are conceived without forethought, the question of whether a couple should have children or not may be moot. I think that there must be forethought, and if there is forethought, more likely than not, there will be good reasons for a couple to have children. Those reasons will run from the personal security of the parents to perpetuating the human race. I would hesitate to place a value judgment on any particular reason a couple settles on for having children.

 

Do you think parents should give freedom of choice to their children?

 

Yes and no. Certainly as growing boy my parents did not give me complete freedom and choice. I remember how my father made me quit the bastketball team when I was in 7th grade. I have not done so well during the first part of the school year and so I had to quit the team. Maybe he could see that I wasn’t about to be the next NBA draftee or maybe he had other plans for me in terms of education, but he did not give me that choice and today I appreciate it.

 

On the other hand, when I was older my father did give me choice and freedom. As I think back on it now, at the time he gave me my choice I was actually doing something with my life which greatly satisfied him. My father was a career military officer, and I was a student at the prestigious military college, the United States Military Academy at West Point. I decided I wanted to leave the college. I know it was hard for him but he gave his approval. Today I can say I also appreciated this freedom.